Are you ever thankful for an answered prayer but not ready for the work to fully get to that promise?
That was me in May of 2024, about 4 months ago. My son was over eighteen months old and we still didn’t have the answers we were looking for with his issues he had been having since he was born. When my son, Warren, was born, I was determined to breastfeed. I wanted to try really hard to redeem my thoughts and experience with nursing after my first child. When he was born, he did such a great job. He latched on well and seemed to eat pretty well. I would nurse and pump so he would have a bottle and it seemed like we were doing somewhat okay. I hadn’t had a baby in five years and the situations were so different so even though it all felt hard…I knew that would be normal.
We started noticing that almost every time Warren ate (especially with a bottle) he would spit it all up very quickly. He was barely making it to two hours between feedings and was very colicky. He was gaining just enough weight to get by but was still very skinny. I remember the first time I went to work about a month after he was born for a wedding (I know, it was a bad idea- I didn’t think it through) and I got a call that he barely kept any of his bottles down all day. We came to the conclusion that his pediatrician needed to be let in on the situation and we all thought he probably had acid reflux.
We got some recommendations on help for a little one with acid reflux and kept going. Honestly, it was really hard to enjoy breastfeeding. Warren was constantly crying and spitting up. I felt like I was failing so my post-partum depression intensified. Around four months old, we started giving Warren cereal with his milk then soft table foods right at six months in hopes that it would push his feedings farther apart and help him gain weight. We noticed immediately though that when he ate, he always opened his mouth wide. We called him “our little birdie.” Then we noticed he would start almost gagging but it was weird. Honestly, there isn’t a great way to describe it. At first, I just thought it was normal as he was getting used to the texture but then over time, he continued doing it no matter how often he ate and many of our close friends/family started having red flags about it. We continued to think it was acid reflux and went to a GI specialist to help. The specialist said that we would try a few things and possibly have a surgery but didn’t think that would be an option.
Around sixteen months old, the GI specialist said it was no longer a concern of acid reflux so a future surgery wasn’t needed. I took it as a sign of relief and excitement but knew his problems weren’t solved. I would continue to show his doctor and other people but would get a response of “Hmm, that’s weird. I don’t know what that is.” It was very discouraging. Over and over that was the response. Then someone suggested looking into his tonsils. We had a dentist appointment coming up so I knew they could look then. When we got to the dentist, I had my hopes up until they said his tonsils looked perfectly fine. I didn’t want to give up so I told them to watch how he ate. By then, it was April so Warren was around twenty months old. They saw him eat and were perplexed as well. I felt all hope was lost until they asked to look into his mouth again. They then said they thought he might have a posterior tongue tie and to get in with a recommended OT that specializes in feeding therapy to confirm their diagnosis.
I got in touch with the OT and instantly felt heard. She chatted with me on the phone and then watched a video of how Warren ate. We got an OT appointment set up for the first week of May and went in to see her. When we went in, she was very thorough and listened to all of my concerns/thoughts. I took notes about a mile long. She agreed that he had a posterior tongue which affected him since he was born which made our breastfeeding journey hard and choking hazards higher. Posterior tongue ties are often and easily missed. Warren wasn’t able to truly talk at that point but was still more vocal than most with posterior tongue ties. The game plan was bi-weekly OT to prepare for the laser clipping of the tongue tie in mid-July then continue with bi-weekly OT until the end of August.
As I called my mom on the way home, I broke down completely. Yes, we had a game plan and answers but it wasn’t an easy fix. It was intense feeding therapy appointments and at home techniques to be completed. It meant limiting time with his paci. I felt like I had an answer but was so far from victory. I just wanted my baby boy to eat normally and safely. I felt like a failure for missing this the whole time. I was mad that others missed it. But mostly, I felt like I failed him as his mom.
Over the next three months, the Lord reshaped a lot. He brought a new depth to mine and my son’s relationship. Every other week I was taking him to OT alone. It was a ninety minute round trip and then during OT, I would be focused on him for the last fifteen minutes to discuss progress and notes. We spent a lot of one-on-one time because of that. We also spent a lot of time together as I paid attention to his foods and made sure he was eating correctly. During those three months, Warren improved dramatically when it came to chewing and swallowing. His speech also improved.
Warren had his laser clipping and did phenomenal. He handled it like a champ. He persevered and improved immensely. He didn’t even check up like I thought he would.
The Lord also brought us the best OT on this earth that became a friend to me and a cheerleader for Warren. She has the biggest personality full of love. She advocated well for him and always did her research. She encouraged me in his improvements. She found different routes to help him with his eating habits. I couldn’t believe how the Lord blessed us with Mrs. Loran as our OT during this time.
Now, one day after he turned two, we saw Mrs. Loran for our last bi-weekly appointment. We will only be seeing her once a month until around Christmas. At the beginning of 2024, I petitioned God to heal Warren of his “acid-reflux” but the Lord did so much more in answering this petition. He gave us a true answer/diagnosis, healing and brought us a life-long friend that helped us in such a dark time.
Don’t give up. Keep advocating. Keep pushing forward. The Lord might not give you the answer you want or the solution right away. You might have to put in the work but the harvest is worth the reaping. As we advocate for ourselves and others, the Holy Spirit advocates for us before God. The Lord is there to listen to you and the Holy Spirit on your behalf. He will bring the solutions and get you to the promise.
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