Have you ever had a long term prayer answered and the moment it happens you wish it didn’t?
Sounds crazy right?! Hear me out.
When we were trying to get pregnant with our first baby we tried for a couple months before we conceived. But then weeks later that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. So then we tried for several months and eventually ended up on fertility medicine before conceiving our first son. After having him I remember just praying often that if and when I was ready for a second baby I would be like other women and just get pregnant effortlessly. The months of trying… the app chasing… the planing.. the medicine… it’s so much to put on yourself.
So I prayed and prayed that I wouldn’t have to go through that again the next go around. Well that’s exactly what happened. I got my “surprise baby”. And the moment those blue lines came up, my stomach turned upside down. See my best friend (y’all know her right?… it’s Emily for those who not know) was trying for her rainbow baby. I had just walked through a miscarriage with her months before and here I was with the exact blessing she was begging for. I wish I didn’t feel the way I did but I don’t think I’ve ever felt that bad in my life.
When I was waiting for my rainbow baby, I watched all these women around me receive their’s first. And I remember how hard that was to watch. I always celebrated them and prayed they got to see this pregnancy all the way through but it still hurt. And in the moment I received one of my biggest prayers I couldn’t even celebrate it because I let the enemy whisper lies in my ear before I could even thank God. No one around me made me feel the way I was feeling. Everyone was celebrating our little miracle baby that surprised us all.
Isn’t it funny how sometimes God gives us what we prayed for and we are too ungrateful to see it right in front of us? But God had a plan all along. He knew I needed that sweet baby before I even knew I did. He knew how much joy he would bring to our lives. He knew all along I would get to walk through pregnancy and life with my best friend while we raise our boys together…who were born 9 days apart!
So in all of this I guess what I’m trying to say is “Trust God sister”. His plan for our life is far beyond what we can even imagine. Trust that He knows what is best and has us near to him. Let Him have it all. He’s trustworthy.
Psalms 62:8
Trust in Him at all times, you people;pour out your hearts to him,for God is our refuge.
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