One of the most beautiful examples of God’s love and servanthood- besides marriage. According to the dictionary, friendship is “a state of mutual trust and support between friends.” Friendship has so many important qualities but two of the most important (according to the definition) are trust and encouragement. A real friend encourages you in life but also in your Christian walk. They stand at your side through everything and have earned your trust forever.
This beautiful verse comes to mind when I think about real friendships…
Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice. -Proverbs 27:9
I wanted to give you some Godly qualities of a good friend and then some Godly qualities for you to take on yourself to be a better friend. I also want to give you some reminders about friendship and a good bit of verses. I know everyone struggles with friendship in one way or another. Friendship is tough but I wanted to help you out as best as I can. I struggle with friendship as well so know you aren’t alone.
A Good Friend:
Points you towards God.
Doesn’t ditch you.
Rejoice in your accomplishments. (James 3:14-15)
No room for jealousy.
Prayers, support, accountability, and love are needed and important.
They keep you accountable.
Speak to you in truth but also love!! (Galatians 6:1)
Won’t Gossip about you. (Proverbs 20:19; 18:24)
A real friend is trustworthy and defends in public but confronts in private.
They pray for you.
Ask the difficult friends and give Godly counsel.
The Gospel is leveling ground.
Keeps a secret.
Chooses what is right.
A natural giver. (John 15:13)
They make sacrifices.
Friends that take from theirs to give to others are blessings.
How to be a Better Friend:
Be worthy to be a close friend.
Philippians 2:3-4 Don’t be a selfish friend- take second place.
Say sorry & MEAN IT.
Always forgive.
Be real.
Remember they are human.
Be their cheerleader.
Don’t be bitter with a friend. Talk. Pour out love. Walk on holy ground and don’t let the enemy win.
Give space when needed but don’t leave them.
Go into the Garden- show up.
Build up and love always.
Reminders about Friendship:
Choose a friend that encourages you in life but also as a Christian.
Sometimes the best cure for a relationship is Jesus.
Be with friends that benefit you, not break you.
Be careful who you let in your inner circle. It’s vulnerable and intimate. Your inner circle is your family and closest people- you can start to act like them as well.
A true friend makes it easier for us to live the Gospel by being around them.
True friendships don’t hinder the relationship you have with God, they encourage it.
You have to work hard for friendships!
Temporal friendships will fall because they are built on a temporal foundation.
Do not find your identity in friendships.
Friendships sometimes only last a season.
Surround yourself with laughter and love.
Pictures and tons of time together does not define a friendship.
Friendships glorify God too.
Some friendships feel like spring to our hearts, because they bring the joy of God’s love to life.
God’s friendships require transparency and trust.
Something to remember in friendships that so many (including me) overlook that is very very important:
Don’t take on the role of God.
You aren’t meant to be everything for that person. It exhausts you and makes you bitter.
Make sure your friend has more than just you she/he throws everything on.
Don’t enable an unhealthy friendship because they will depend on you wholly and not God and that is bad for the both of you.
Empower your friend to seek God.
Galatians 6:2 (Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.)
Don’t take on all of your friends problems. The church as a whole is what holds up and supports a person.
Let God move in.
If they throw everything on you, your relationship feels more like a burden than a blessing.
You should not be the only support system.
Verses on Friendship:
-Proverbs 18:24 “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
-Mark 12:30-31 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. And to love your neighbor as yourself.”
-Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
-Proverbs 13:20 “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
“Friendship is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.” (C.S. Lewis)
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