“Congratulations!” they said, as they placed my brand-new baby into my arms. “How
hard can this be?” I thought to myself… And if you are a mom, you might have an idea
of where I am going with this. My son, John Daniel, was born in January of this year
(2024). As I’ve been figuring this whole “mom” thing out, I have found myself striving,
struggling, and frustrated… really more than I’d like to admit. Sure, there have been
plenty of moments of absolute bliss, and I am so blessed to have my beautiful family! I
was prepared for motherhood to be challenging. But I found myself wondering, “Is it
really supposed to be this hard?”
I started searching for answers. I was desperate. People have been parenting long
enough now that there must be some sort of guide out there telling me what to do!
Quickly this turned into information overload. It seemed everywhere I looked I was being
told how to parent, how to be a better wife, how to be a better me. What I should do,
how I should do it, and when I should do it. Don’t do this. Do it this way instead.
Watching people on Instagram, watching friends raising their kids, reading blog after
blog and even a few parenting books… all in an attempt to “help” me do my best.
But I kept feeling MORE frustrated. Why did it work for them and not for me? Was I just
not good enough? I was angry at my husband for not doing things the way the books
said (when he hadn’t even read them…). I was angry at my baby for waking up in the
middle of the night AGAIN. I was so jealous of my friends whose babies were “sleeping
through the night” and “keeping perfect schedules”. I was comparing myself to everyone
else, trying to follow everyone’s advice, and I kept failing. Things seemed even harder
now than before I went down the rabbit hole of searching for answers and advice. I must
just not be a good enough mom.
As tears ran down my face one evening while I tried to nurse my screaming, tired,
hungry baby, I desperately cried out to God, “Please help me.” (I could blame
postpartum hormones or sleep deprivation that it took me so long to do this… but really
it was just pride). I was finally at the end of my own strength. I know better than this. I’ve
been following Jesus since I was 15, and God has taken me to this place more than
once. But once again, here I was, comparing myself to everyone else, and trying in all
my strength to figure things out and measure up. I was trying to be good enough. Again.
And once again, God was there to help. He had been there the whole time, just waiting
for me to come to Him. God in his grace and mercy prompted my husband to remind me
that what works for some people might not be what works for our family. That woke me
Up.
With my tired eyes I flipped my bible open with the Holy Spirit’s prompting to Psalm 24
NIV, and I read these verses:
“ 1 The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it;
2 for he founded it on the seas
and established it on the waters.
3 Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord?
Who may stand in his holy place?
4 The one who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not trust in an idol
or swear by a false god.”
Immediately I knew and felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit that I was trusting in the idol
of information, and the advice of others had become my false god. I was listening to
everyone else’s voice, except for God’s.
Don’t get me wrong, advice and information can be so helpful in the right context. My
problem was that I was seeking those things first rather than listening to God’s voice
and seeking His guidance in this season of my life.
God used Psalm 24:1 NIV (“The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and
all who live in it…”) to remind me that He is in control. He knows what I need, what my
baby needs, and He will guide me in it. The world is filled with people offering their
advice with the best intentions, but my God, the creator of the universe, the one who
knit us together in our mothers’ wombs, is the only one who truly knows what is best for
us. Because of this, I will seek Him first, His will, His word, and He will take care of me.
He promises us this in Matthew 6:33 NIV, “But seek first His kingdom and His
righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
So, do I have motherhood all figured out now? Absolutely not! And things are still hard
sometimes. But I have peace again. I have joy again. I am not trying to measure up to
anything or anyone other than what God is calling me to. I have confidence that God in
His goodness and mercy will lead me through the seasons of my life to bring Him glory
and honor, and He will take care of me.
Whatever your season of life is right now, my hope is that you would be reminded to
seek God before seeking information and advice from anywhere else. He is the only
one who truly knows what we need. He alone can give us peace.
I will leave you with a prayer from Psalm 24. As you draw near to God, He will draw
near to you.
“ 1 The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it;
Father, my life is yours. Everything I have, I surrender to you all over again.
2 for he founded it on the seas
and established it on the waters.
You are our creator, and because of that, you know what is best for me and my
Life.
3 Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord?
Who may stand in his holy place?
Thank you for the blood of Jesus that made a way for me to come to you. I don’t
deserve it, but I am so thankful. I come before you now, for it is only in your
Presence I find what I need.
4 The one who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not trust in an idol
or swear by a false god.”
Would you purify my hands and my heart once again? I repent for trusting the
Things of this world more than I trusted you. Show me your ways. In you alone I put my
trust. You alone are my God. Help me to always seek you first, above all the
noise of the world.
I love you, Lord. I pray this in the almighty name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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