What is friendship?
Well according to the dictionary, friendship is “a state of mutual trust and support between friends.” Trust? When do you begin to trust someone? See trust is one of the hardest things to obtain and the easiest thing to lose. Trust is something that is earned. To be able to trust someone you need to make sure that person has your best interest at heart. You need to find a friend that encourages you in life but also as a Christian.
The Bible puts it this way… “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” -Proverbs 27:17
So encouragement goes a long way, but it’s not enough. You also need someone who challenges you. Someone who pushes you to live a life that shines for Christ. A life that shines so bright that others can’t help but see Christ living through you.
What defines a true friend?
I have seen so many times people determining their self worth based on this world. Like their self worth is based on the nicest car, best outfit, or biggest house. That is not the case. Your identity is not found in other people, but rather it is found in your love for Christ. This is the very basis on which we as Christians are called to do.
-Mark 12:30-31 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. And to love your neighbor as yourself.”
So a true friend will help you see your inner beauty. Again it is someone who won’t tell you what you want to hear, but tells you what you need to hear (in a loving way). A true friend is someone who helps strengthen your relationship with Christ.
-Proverbs 18:24 “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
So ask yourself “Does this person help me see my inner self worth? Do they help me live this life to Glorify my Lord and Savior? and Do they help strengthen my relationship with Christ?”
What are problems in a friendship?
Jealousy is a problem that comes to mind. Many times we only think of jealousy within romantic relationships. That is not the case. People may become jealous over accomplishments or other relationships of their friends. We begin to envy and desire what they have when God is sitting back waiting on us to desire what He wants for us. His plan is perfect. In Jeremiah 29:11 He tells us that He knows the plans He has for us. Then in Verse 13 He tells us that if we seek Him with all our heart, we will find Him!
Who is in your inner circle?
Ever heard the saying “you become like who you are around.” This is so true. You can’t walk through a pig pen and not come out the other side not smelling like a pig. Same with the people that you surround yourself with.
-Proverbs 13:20 “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”
We need to surround ourselves with people who are going to help us grow stronger in the word. The triangle theory tells us that if 2 are moving towards Christ the closer they become.
————————————————————————————————————
What is friendship?
Who is in your inner circle?
What makes a good friend?
What are problems in a friendship?
How do you know when to let go of a friendship?
Proverbs 27:9
Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart,
and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.
Choose a friend that encourages you in life but also as a Christian.
Sometimes the best cure for a relationship is Jesus.
Be with friends that benefit you, not break you.
Be careful who you let in your inner circle. It’s vulnerable and intimate. Your inner circle is your family and closest people- you can start to act like them as well.
A true friend makes it easier for us to live the Gospel by being around them.
True friendships don’t hinder the relationship you have with God, they encourage it.
“Friendship is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.” (C.S. Lewis)
Some friendships feel like spring to our hearts, because they bring the joy of God’s love to life.
God’s friendships require transparency and trust.
Temporal friendships will fall because they are built on a temporal foundation.
Do not find your identity in friendships.
Friendships sometimes only last a season.
Surround yourself with laughter and love.
Pictures and tons of time together does not define a friendship.
Friendships glorify God too.
Examples of friendships in the Bible:
1 Samuel 18:1-4
After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. 2 From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family. 3 And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. 4 Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Luke 11:5-10
Then Jesus said to them, “Suppose you have a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread; 6 a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have no food to offer him.’ 7 And suppose the one inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children and I are in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything.’ 8 I tell you, even though he will not get up and give you the bread because of friendship, yet because of your shameless audacity[a] he will surely get up and give you as much as you need.
9 “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Don’t take on the role of God.
You aren’t meant to be everything for that person. It exhausts you and makes you bitter.
Make sure your friend has more than just you she/he throws everything on.
Don’t enable an unhealthy friendship because they will depend on you wholly and not God and that is bad for the both of you.
Empower your friend to seek God.
Galatians 6:2 (Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.)
Don’t take on all of your friends problems. The church as a whole is what holds up and supports a person.
Let God move in.
If they throw everything on you, your relationship feels more like a burden than a blessing.
You should not be the only support system.
A Good Friend:
Points you towards God.
Doesn’t ditch you.
Rejoice in your accomplishments. (James 3:14-15)
No room for jealousy.
Prayers, support, accountability, and love are needed and important.
They keep you accountable.
Speak to you in truth but also love!! (Galatians 6:1)
Won’t Gossip about you. (Proverbs 20:19; 18:24)
A real friend is trustworthy and defends in public but confronts in private.
They pray for you.
Ask the difficult friends and give Godly counsel.
The Gospel is leveling ground.
Keeps a secret.
Chooses what is right.
A natural giver. (John 15:13)
They make sacrifices.
Friends that take from theirs to give to others are blessings.
How to be a Better Friend:
Be worthy to be a close friend.
Philippians 2:3-4 Don’t be a selfish friend- take second place.
Say sorry & MEAN IT.
Always forgive.
Be real.
Remember they are human.
Be their cheerleader.
Don’t be bitter with a friend. Talk. Pour out love. Walk on holy ground and don’t let the enemy win.
Give space when needed but don’t leave them.
Go into the Garden- show up.
Build up and love always.
Comments