We had been trapped in the house for four days. To my husband and children, this seemed like four hundred and five days. We have played lots of games, eaten all of the snacks, watched lots of movies, organized rooms, tried new recipes, read books and more! We were beginning to lose it. Now don’t get me wrong, I am a home-body. I enjoy my little house and the comfort/safety that it brings. I love having people over, cooking for them and finding new activities here. I truly believe in making a house your home, BUT, when you are home with three wild animals…I mean, precious family members…it can be tough.
When I received a text from my Nana asking if we would like to come to her house to eat beef stew for lunch, it was an easy reply of “yes.” My husband had already declared that we were getting out of the house and the kids were so ready they even turned down snacks. We loaded up and ran some errands then went to my grandparents.
The roads really weren’t that bad. We live in the county and so do my grandparents. The roads really weren’t as bad. Today was the warmest it has been in four days so the ice melted a little and crews had been trying to clear the roads. It was nice to be out! By the time we got to Nana and Papa’s I was starving! My parents came with my sister and my kids were overjoyed. Out of the house + some of their people are all in the same room with all the food because they are never told no over there.
After lunch my sister decided we needed to play in the snow! My grandparents had their sled and a fun hill. We all had our fun times and moments. My husband even flipped me on the sled…yes, there will be bruises but it was worth it! Lots of laughter was shared but then we all got too cold and decided to go in, warm up and pack our stuff to leave. We gave kisses, took some food (because you never leave grandparents empty-handed) and headed out.
My parents, sister and daughter were already out of the driveway and waiting for us to make sure we made it out. You see, my grandparents have a steep driveway and we drive a Chevy Equinox that is not four-wheel drive. (I might need to mention that when we arrived and my husband parked at the bottom of the hill I had said we probably weren't going to get out.) My husband buckled the baby in the car then we started backing out.
And guess what?
Our tires started to spin.
Panic set in over my body. Thankfully my husband handles these situations well. My dad and grandfather were already in their dad-helping-mode. They were calling out instructions and Brandon was patiently listening while following. (We seriously don’t know what we would do without them.) But nothing was working.
Our tires kept spinning and sliding.
My dad and grandfather then said “be sure you are careful so you don’t slide backwards on this hill.” Panic grew higher in me as I started to think about our car sliding with no way of stopping while my husband, son and I were in it and my daughter would see it all from my parents truck. I kept praying and praying. Then my dad suggested that my husband try again while he pushed the car and all I could see was my dad slipping on the ice and the vehicle somehow rolling back on him. I started to feel sick.
Then my Papa suggested pulling our car up the driveway with his truck but we were blocking it so my dad said he would instead. The panic came even harder as I watched my grandfather walk across the driveway. Fear gripped me as I imagined him slipping on the ice. Finally, the car was hooked up to the truck and was pulled safely on the road. Everything was in the clear until my husband tried to unhook the vehicle and his shoulder popped out. (Another long story itself!) Thankfully, my dad popped it back in and we got home safely. Needless to say, we will not leave the house again until the ice has melted!
While this was a mild situation and not as scary as most were, my anxiety was still through the roof. Thankfully no one was hurt and the cars are okay. My stomach felt so sick I thought I would throw up and my chest was hurting. I just listed out every fear to you that I had.
But can I share something that doesn’t make any sense?
Yes, I had anxieties and fears but I also had peace. It was like I would see the things that I was afraid of but then I felt a soft and tender voice whisper “Everything will be okay.” Obviously as I write this, I know that I have not reached the level of faith where I am whole-heartedly able to trust in what the Lord is doing at every moment. I strive to though. But this is the process of faith.
We have to go through a lot of scary, teaching, good and hard moments. We have to choose how our faith will stand when those moments come but it starts with the everyday choices first.
What is your prayer life like? It doesn’t have to look like the Women’s Ministry Director at your church but it does need to be consistent. Are you praying unceasingly? That doesn’t mean you are in a constant bowed position but are you lifting up prayers of gratitude or requests every chance you get?
Are you in the Word? You can start simple! Read the verse of the day on the Bible app and reflect. Start a Bible plan on the app and invite friends to do it with you. Take your Bible and read a chapter of a book at a time and reflect. Grab a study guide as you read through the Bible. It is personal to you and helps you grow in knowledge and action.
Who are you surrounded by? What does your schedule look like? People make comments about how our family is always at church events but my response is always the same: I would rather be busy with church events than anything else. I want my little family in safe and life-giving environments. I am always in or leading a small group. Why? Because being surrounded by women as we grow together and study the Word is vital to my everyday life. Most of my relationships are with people that speak life and accountability into my life or vice versa.
All of these things are important and they will help you in your process of faith. Where you are weak, God will grow you to be strong in Him. I have battled with anxiety, overthinking and intrusive thoughts for as long as I can remember but when I truly started to fight with God and the strength He gives me, the strongholds weakened against me. The process of faith is infinite. You will never truly reach the end point of your faith. Be patient with the process of faith but also make sure you are always moving forward in it.
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