I sat on the beach and took in the beauty around me. I noticed the smell of the salty air. I was comforted by the crashing waves. I felt the sand between my toes and watched the sunset. I wholeheartedly believe that you can meet God anywhere but I also feel as if it is impossible not to meet God while at the beach. It is so evident that He is the ultimate and divine Creator. He makes the most beautiful creations with just a spoken word. He is intricate and omnipotent. He is faithful and true. He is consistent and personal. He creates all of this majestic and beautiful creation that we get to withhold even though we are so undeserving. He still makes this world so beautiful even though we made it broken by the undeniable choices that we made.
And that is why my spirit still aches even as I am in the presence of such beauty. I am surrounded by the most peaceful sounds, smells and sights yet my chest aches for the thing I am awaiting. As I grow older and study His Word deeper, I ache for Him even more. As I grow closer to Him through worship and the everyday moments I can’t help but desire even more that I will be in His physical presence. While these moments and views are beautiful, they can’t fill or satisfy the deep desire that I have. I just want to be with Him.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t want this life to end. I am in a sweet and fun season with my family, business, ministry and church. I love the life that God has given me. There is a constant tug-of-war of loving this life and not wanting it to end while desiring to be face to face with my Father. Oh, if I could only have both…! But then I realize that in order to have both I am not choosing my Father first. I still desire the fleshly and earthly things.
Have I forgotten that eternity is so much more? Have I forgotten that even without the streets of gold and pearly gates, eternity is more than I deserve? Have I forgotten that my true mission on this earth is to dwell in His Word while bringing others to Him?
Which is why I believe that I ache. I ache because I love this life and I know my mission but I am ready for the eternity where I will embrace my Maker whom I don’t even deserve to encounter. There will always be a piece of aching because my spirit knows that this is not where I belong. I am just passing through but it is my mission to pass through on purpose for Him. I will take in this beautiful and broken life while declaring that the Lord was too good to give it to me. I will constantly share that I am in awe and marvel at the beautiful beach that I shouldn’t get to withhold with my eyes. I will constantly proclaim that there is no way this was given to us except by a gracious Father Who loves and pursues His children so much so to give them beauty all around even though they are broken.
& I know that my aching spirit will one day ache no more.
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