After the Wait by Kinley Keenum

Have you ever waited so long for something you always dreamed about then you finally get it and in a blink of an eye it’s taken away from you?

This is my story…

My husband and I were together 4 years when he proposed to me. The day he got down on one knee was one of the best days of my life. It was perfect! I had what I dreamed about right in front of me. Little did I know 2 1/2 short months later God had other plans for me. The engagement was called off. That day is a day I will forever have etched in my memory. What hurt more was there was no hate, no yelling or animosity between each other. You could feel pure love, which is why it was so hard. Here’s the thing though I wasn’t mad at him. I was mad at God. I was furious. How could he take away the one thing I had prayed for? 

Here’s why. 

We get so caught up in the material things in life that we don’t settle down to realize what God is doing in our life. That was me. Two years all I talked about was getting a ring and having the wedding I wanted. When he finally asked and we got back in to U.S. my feet hit the ground running and I never checked up. I went to wedding planning mode. I never stopped and checked on Tyler (I even knew that getting married scared him) I was in my own fantasy. When he called the wedding off I felt like my whole life came crumbling and the pieces of my heart that he put back together broke yet again. I questioned everything. Why would God give me the one thing that I prayed for then take it away so quickly? Other things came to light that week, things I didn’t think I would be able to come back from. Through all of that I was so mad at God, but you wanna know what’s so funny? Even though I was mad at him I was still on my knees asking him what was I supposed to do crying with my hands lifted high. It’s amazing that even though I was so hurt Christ was the one I went running to asking for help. It was a distinct voice but a sense of peace that ran through my body and it told me that I was going to be okay; and I am. A year a later I’ve gone through so much but Tyler and I are so much stronger now. Our relationship is built on the foundation of Christ and we always put each other first. 

I want to say that if you think you can do life alone, you are so wrong. I had such amazing women help me this last year. Women who spoke life into me and continue to do. Having others who support you and will tell you the honest truth but in a Christ-like loving way is so important. I know I can always go to these women for anything. 

BUT, I would not be where I am without Jesus. He is my firm foundation and the one who always be there. I have so much gratitude for everything God has given me this year! 

Even in the hard days I still praised God for all that he done for me! 

Bible verses that helped me this last year:

“The Lord does not delay his promise, as some understand delay, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish but all to come to repentance.”

‭‭2 Peter‬ ‭3‬:‭9‬ ‭CSB‬‬

“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven will also forgive you your wrongdoing.””

‭‭Mark‬ ‭11‬:‭25‬ ‭CSB‬‬

“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead,”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭3‬:‭13‬ ‭CSB‬‬

“We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭28‬ ‭CSB‬‬

“because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.”

‭‭James‬ ‭1‬:‭3‬-‭4‬ ‭CSB‬‬